246. READ. LOOK. THINK.
CYK is out in US and Canada in three days! Also: transfer unconscious content, the master language, Love's Labour, delicious sauces, just a tree.
‘This is the thing with personal narrative: it lets you raise questions (and possible answers) that you couldn’t frame with your rational mind. Stories mediate between the conscious and the unconscious; storytelling is one of the most direct ways to transfer unconscious content into other people’s consciousness, so it can eventually become part of reasoned discourse. You can’t do or see or say everything yourself, right now—you’re one person! But, through narrative, you can communicate things you don’t know that you know, to people who live in the future, who can understand things that you don’t know yet. We are those people now, for Tolstoy. And later it will hopefully be someone else, for us.’
‘My neurology stays implicit in most of my work. When autism itself is not the topic, I see no need to hold readers’ hands and break it to them gently that they’re in communion with a lady of the spectrum. I would find it a hindrance and nuisance to continuously monitor whether my autism was showing, just as neurotypicals would find it unhelpful to constantly ask themselves: ‘Am I coming across as emotionally incontinent and desperate for the validation of my peers?’ ‘Show, don’t tell’ is broken by Naoise Dolan.
‘At more or less the same moment I began to question my position in the system, as an assimilated foreigner whose very mastery of the master language seemed to confirm that it was only natural that English should rule the world...’
I couldn’t believe when I saw on India Knight’s substack that Stephen Grosz has a new book coming out! It’s called Love’s Labour, I think I have a proof on its way to me… ICONIC. I loved The Examined Life; there’s one case study I think about all the time - the woman worried someone has sabotaged her flat while she’s been on a work trip.
I read The Watch Tower by Elizabeth Harrower (just mis-typed that as harrowing and for good reason). It’s an incredible depiction of coercive control before it had a name. Just perfectly written.
Michelle de Kretser has won the Stella Prize (Australia’s biggest prize for women and nonbinary writers) with Theory and Practice — a link to the UK edition cos Australians have all read it. It’s clearly the work of a genius while also being straight up compelling and fun (jealousy! university situationships!) Her speech accepting the Stella was courageous and bracing.
LOOK.
For anyone who’s read Consider Yourself Kissed this is quite ‘Barbie’s house’ to me — beautiful!
Could I be a 5 year diary guy?
‘Dare i say, normal people are just more interesting at the moment? Especially for people actually participating in culture and not just consuming it parasocially.’ (I love Grace’s newsletter, I think I’ve linked it before.)
Ice Kitchen sauce bases are so great and handy imo (my favourite are the Thai curries). Just easy and nice food.
THINK.
‘The three elements of your phrase are: 1) “sit down” 2) ”as a family” and 3) “dinner.” My theory is that once you’ve articulated what you mean by each, you’ll find that not only is your imagined nightly meal possible, but that you already know what to do.’ I love this extremely philosophical response to someone wondering how to have family dinners with their kids.
“Write a motivational, mindfulness-style essay about <SUBJECT>. Make it poetic, uplifting, and emotionally resonant and reflective, like a piece someone might read on a mindfulness blog, support group, or Substack newsletter.”
(One thing I can promise you is I’ll never use AI for anything at all. Everything you ever read or consume from me is from my flawed human mind. If I find out something I’ve consumed is AI, I will not visit the source again. It’s a hard line for me. But also, when I get texts or emails from people, or when I’m reading articles by non-professional writers, I am never sitting in judgment on someone’s writing skills — and equally I dgaf if I have typos all over the place in any writing except a novel. A personal message is always better than a potentially more ‘perfect’ AI message. Always!)
Hypernormalization: the juxtaposition of the dysfunctional and mundane / ‘I suspect that the opaque feeling in my head can also be traced to a craven instinct: it’s easier to retreat from the concept of reality than to acknowledge that the things in the news are real.’
‘The self-defined custodians of stability in fact make instability inevitable by not creating the conditions for the emergence of another viable alternative, and in fact, destroying it when it does threaten to emerge.’
‘Whenever anyone says: “I was smacked, and it didn’t do me any harm,” I always think: “But it did, because you are standing there, saying those words, justifying what is ultimately a cruel and abusive act against a child.” The idea that people who love us and try to do their best by us can also sometimes hurt us is a very difficult thing to contend with.’
‘There is something about being in the daily company of a little person – their innocence, their vulnerability, their silliness, their loving nature – that makes the pain of any other child feel like a profound affront. But I know you don’t have to be a parent to feel horror at what is being inflicted on Gaza’s children in the most visceral way.’
‘In the witness box, Carruthers kept repeating how surprised he was by the reaction over “something so small”: “My understanding was it was just a tree.”’
When it comes to persuasion, it’s not the conversation, it’s the relationship.
MY BOOK!
(Quite a jarring transition this week from the sobering things in ‘THINK’ to this relentless showing off about my novel; since CYK will be out in AU, UK and US and Canada in just a few days, I’ll be able to cool it a little on that front.)
So much has happened in the last three weeks since I’ve sent a newsletter I can hardly gather my thoughts!
I felt proud to be on the Read This podcast for The Monthly - it would have been inconceivable to me two years ago to record a long interview in this way; it’s incredible to me that I managed to get to a place where I could enjoy it.
With others, I shared some thoughts about starting a newsletter for Kill Your Darlings.
Consider Yourself Kissed will be published in the US and Canada on Tuesday!
US reviews have started to come in:
‘Consider Yourself Kissed is buoyed by fresh, funny writing and, pretty much without exception, a terrific cast of characters.’ Wall Street Journal.
And of course, the NYT review that came out just as I was preparing this newsletter: ‘Stanley’s delightful novel reminds her readers of the joy, humor and even subtle hope that can be experienced during life’s lowest moments.’
Wow — more than anything else, I am relieved.
EVENTS.
Here are some UK events I would love to see you at, more to come:
Thursday May 29, 6.30pm: Cosy London Book Club with Ria @BookedDate, Penguin Random House SW11. Tix!
Monday June 30, 7pm: In Conversation with Natasha Lunn, BookBar Chelsea SW3. Tix!
Friday August 21, 12pm: Gliterary Lunch with Polly Clark, Edinburgh EH1 2AD. Tix!
Saturday August 22, 12pm: Edinburgh Book Festival with Emma Gannon and Alisha Fernandez Miranda.
As always I am so, so grateful to everyone who has read, reviewed, shared, reserved at the library, dropped through a friend’s letter box, DMed me/come to an event/kindly hearted a show-offy post by me on Instagram.
X
Jess
As soon as I read that Naoise Dolan piece in my inbox I thought to myself: This will be in the next R.L.T. Perfection.
I'm with you on the AI hard line! I hate it's insidious creep into everything! It's making me question my entire career!